I have recently discovered the importance of surrounding myself with people of the same values. that are not hold those values but are living by those values and make decisions based on them.
I have been living with my soul family in community for almost three months now and I believe that having the same values as these people has made it not only feel right to me but safe to be myself, and it has helped us get through some very tough transitional periods. I also believe that spirit is making it harder and harder for us to live a life that is not in alignment with who we are and what we value.
There used to be a time when we could get away with living with degrees of denial about our environment but now if we try to go forward in that way we will find that our life will get harder and harder as spirit shows us where we are living in untruth.
It really helps to know what your values are. I know now that what I value the most is that I am growing, evolving and moving forward. I always knew this to some extent but kind of 'forgot' for a while there while I compromised what is so important to me. And let me please stress that different values does not mean that some people are better than others but it's surprising how our minds can judge others for not having the same values - and we won't even realize what the real issue is. We can beat our head against the wall trying to communicate and figure out how to make relationships work but the core of the issue may be differing values.
Identifying your values and then making decisions and choices based on those values will mean that you are living an authentic life that feels right to you, and a huge component of that is surrounding yourself with other people that share the same values as you. Also, you may be with people that have the same values but everyone needs to be following through, making decisions and living a life in alignment with those values.
As I said earlier, living with people with the same values as me of personal evolution, growth and living in truth took us though some very tough transitional times. We were rocked to our core as we had all made huge changes to make our community happen. What happened for me was that I was 'unthawing' or defrosting as I call it now in retrospect. I had some pretty big walls of defense that kept me feeling previously safe but were no longer serving me and were proving detrimental to my new relationships. So as the walls of righteousness were coming down what was left was a whole lot of confusion, vulnerability, and room for stuff to be triggered - stuff that I didn't even know was still there. I am so grateful to have come through that transition with these relationships still intact, and part of what made that possible is that we all value the process of personal growth (our common values) and were very willing to allow each other to go through that without judgement. There was also a great deal of personal responsibility for our 'stuff', vulnerability in talking about what were going through internally, vulnerability in admitting where we were at and admitting that we needed help, and last but not least a huge amount of compassion.
When you are with your soul family you know it, and I would be willing to guess that you will have the same values. When you are with people that have the same values you feel safe and you can be yourself with them instead of pretending that what they value is what you value. Everyone is on the same page. That doesn't mean that there won't be challenges - relationships are here to show us where we need to grow to be more ourselves and stronger. Love yourself enough to know and accept what you value and let those values guide and direct your decisions. Also, love yourself enough to be with others that hold the same values as you.
Much love to you always,